Disposable friends.

This topic was brought up this week....again. For like...the zillionth time. I feel like I'm a little weird at times for my opinion on it, because it doesn't *quite* seem to match up to some other's opinions of the same issue. The fact that people are so "all or nothing" about friendships, meaning you're there either 100% of the time or not at all....that idea is stupid to me. I had a couple of  "friends" back in high school that had that idea of what a friendship is in their heads....it doesn't work. If I required someone(aside from my husband) to be there 100% of the time in order to be my friend...I'd be friendless, it's as simple as that, haha. You can't expect people not to grow and change and take different paths and move away and go on with their lives. That's what visits are for. Sorry to say, if you require someone to be there 100% of the time to even be considered a friend....you have some serious co-dependency issues. Maybe that's why I don't feel the need to be attached at the hip to people. I like "me" time, even a little time here and there without Jeff, where I can just relax and do whatever I want to without being bothered(not that he bothers me, but everyone has those "I need me time" days-it's a natural & normal thing). I've always needed at least a little time to myself, and that works for me, and for us. I really feel sorry for people who need attention and someone by their side 24/7....What could you possibly learn about yourself that way? You can't learn how to be independent without being on your own sometimes. You can't learn how to *not* rely on other people unless you are without those people for awhile. That was something I learned when I first moved across the country, away from home. Amazing how responsible you become when mommy or daddy aren't there to bail you out or pay your bills. If you're constantly looking for someone to bail you out, to take of things for you.....you're not going anywhere, I hate to break it to you. How are you supposed to know how strong a person you are if you're constantly pushing things off to other people and making excuses for yourself? You learn nothing from that. Friends are NOT meant to be around 24/7/365, but just because they're not around that much-whether it's due to distance or work schedules or really, just life-that doesn't mean that they don't care or don't value you as a friend, that they're "disposable." There are a lot of people who I absolutely adore that I don't get to see but once a year, but you know what? I don't love them any less because of that. It just means that I live far away and have my life to deal with, and let's face it-travel is expensive. Who can afford to just hop a plane as often as they want these days? Not a whole lot people, really. That doesn't mean throw relationships down the crapper because they can't be there as often as you'd like. It means that you need to adjust and learn to be self-sufficient, and realize that it might be nice to get your way 100% of the time, but unfortunately for you-this is real life, and it just doesn't work that way.

9 months and 25 miles.

   Quite a few of  my friends have been doing this thing on Facebook these last few days.....posting one thing that they are grateful for each day of November. I thought about this, and I suppose I could do the daily posts, but I think I would rather just do them all in the same post, in one blog entry. So, here goes:


  I am absolutely beyond grateful that we, and more importantly, Jeff, made it through this deployment. Maybe not the way that we had planned or wanted him to, but he did it nonetheless. There have been a few times, especially when all the homecoming photos and schedules were being posted months ago, that I was *just* a tad bitter that we weren't going to get that....Go figure, the *best* part of deployments-getting to see them get off the plane and being marched into the hangar, waiting through the speeches and finally getting released to the families and getting that first kiss after so many months-is the *one* part we got robbed of. But in the end, I got my husband back and I know of far too many wonderful ladies who are not able, and will never be able, to say that they got the same. 


   We had an amazing support team of people that surrounded us in those weeks and months after he was sent home. From the liasons at BAMC, to the people with the Warrior/Family Support Center, the Warrior Transition Battalion, family that was constantly checking up and visiting and friends who were endlessly checking on his progress and what was going on, we've been very blessed to find such a wonderful community that has done and continues to do so much for us. I had really become quite resentful of people in general prior to this(for reasons I'll leave out of this entry, it's an entirely different story), and after this year I have to say that my faith in humanity has been restored 100 times over. There is no repayment enough for that.


   I've gained an entirely new family this year, even before we got married back in September. Jeff's mom is pretty much the best mother-in-law I could have asked for, his sister Brittany and her husband, Eddie, are a blast to hang out with whenever we go to visit and Brittany and I talk super often, so she's just a text/call away-I love that about them :) That's not even to mention his cousins, his dad, etc....they are all wonderful people and I lucked out to gain them as family.


  Jeff's recovery. I honestly didn't expect, after the injuries he sustained from the IED blast he was in, that he would recover as well as he has. Today, 4 days shy of 9 months later, he went out and rode in a 25 mile bicycle ride for the Wounded Warrior Foundation(If you haven't already, look those guys up. They do a TON to support both the warriors and their families, are in constant need of donations, and most importantly-they're awesome). He went from being in a wheel chair and unable to bath himself in a matter of less than 6 months-that to me is pretty amazing. He was lucky to have walked away from the blast alive, I would have been content with just that. But he wasn't, and he showed that today. I could not be more proud of his progress and determination if I tried :-)




  In just a couple days, we will be packing up and driving to Oregon to spend my birthday and Thanksgiving this year, since they fall within a day of each other. At Christmas, we will pack up again and head to Missouri to spend the holiday with Jeff's side of the family. I spent both holidays last year in Tennessee, while Jeff was still deployed and with my family over 2,000 miles away. It pretty much sucked, as I'm sure Jeff's did as well, considering he was in Trashcanistan(because really, who LIKES having to spend holidays in that dump?)  We are so blessed to be able to spend both holidays with one part of our family or the other, to get to spend that *time* with the people who we love and mean the most to us....that is a truly priceless thing, as cheesy as that very well may sound. 


Overall, we've been blessed with a ton of things that we can say we are grateful for this year, but the biggest one is simply that we get more time together(we even got our 2 year anniversary together this year-first time ever! Mind you, it was also our wedding day :-p). Time is something that is more than priceless and can never be replaced, needless to say the biggest blessing of all.

Day 9

                      {Day #9-A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.}

Without going into grave detail, my grandma is hands down this person for me. Lord help the person who gets in her way or messes with her grandbabies(glad to say I'm one of those! :-p), I am more than certain that this woman would fight to the death for either of us and she's gone to bat for me on more than a couple occasions. That's in addition to making sure the whole family is taken care of at all times, no matter what. It makes me so angry that some people take advantage of that. She's the best, and I couldn't ask for a better person to be my grandma :-)

Day #8

       Yes I know, I'm just a *tad* behind on this little photo challenge. Sorry, life gets in the way sometimes....and I let it, because really? Who wants to live their entire lives on a computer? It's nice to do things that don't require me to touch this keyboard at times ;-) Anyway, back to the point of the original post here.....




                       {Day 8-A picture of someone who makes you laugh.}

Rosie.

 I freaking love this woman to pieces, and she is really one of the only people I get along well with here at Ft. Sam. As hectic and ridiculous as things may get around here, she's always up for a little girl time. There's also that whole matter of our husbands being wounded in Afghanistan on the same day, around the same time and then flew out together when they were flown out for treatment. So, I like to think it was meant to be :) Not to sound cliche', but the fact is that there are not too many people on this earth who understand what it is like to be in our position and everything that we have & continue to deal with given the circumstances that brought us here to Texas...She makes this whole "wounded warrior wife" thing much easier to stomach at times, simply because she's been there. And for the times that we can't quite seem to stomach whatever it may be that is going on.....there's always beer night ;-)

Day 7

                    {A picture of your most treasured item.}


Clearly, I have to choose my darling husband, even though *technically,* he isn't an "item." :) 2 years and counting, just over a month of marriage, and he is my favorite "thing" in the world. I love that I'm married to my best friend and wouldn't have it any other way :)

(Oh, and he's incredibly goofy when he chooses to be......also something that I adore about him :) )

Day 6.

                     {A picture of someone you'd like to trade places with.}

I had a bit of  a hard time with this, but this is the one I settled on: a child. Simply because as an adult, your eyes are so much more opened to the problems and the dangers in the world around you. As a child, you're taught certain things ie: don't talk to strangers, tell someone anytime you go anywhere, don't do certain things, etc,.-but for the most part, you're oblivious to the things that happen around you. As a child, all you know is what's in your immediate sights, the day-to-day things. You aren't really subjected to the negative things going on right now in the economy, the war, political groups arguing back & forth. Adults worry about how they're going to pay their bills, going to work, etc, but as a child your biggest concern is probably something like whether or not your best friend will be over to come over and play that day, or what you're going to dress up as.....simple little things like that. There are no worries when it comes to money, or where you're going to end up living, or whether or not you'll get laid off-there's just this simple little world you live in, where you call the shots and your parents can somehow solve anything. What I would've give to go back to that, even for just one day :-)

Day #5

I've been slacking a bit the last few days on this challenge thing....forgive me, I've been sidetracked :-)




                             {Day 5: A picture of your favorite memory.}

Anyone who knows me even a little bit, knows how much I love & adore this man, his music, and the way

he carries/presents himself.  I could pick pretty much any Garth song, and as soon as it came on, could probably describe a vivid memory of what it reminds me of as far as being back home and growing up. I was pretty much raised on Garth, and Lord-willing, our children will be the same. Not to mention, the man is well into his fifties and *still* rocks  out in his live show....it was money well spent ;-)

{This last one was outside of the arena in Nashville the night that we saw him live.....you know Garth is in town when the crowd *outside* of the arena waiting exceeds the number of people*inside* actually getting to watch him! :-P }